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People seemed guarded and paranoid, and never spoke of the Swaggarts without lowering their voice and quickly looking around to see who might be listening. I remember it was at times like this that I would defend her.“Oh really”, I would gush, “she is really the nicest person and has been so kind to me”.I felt like I was seeing AA as a new person might see it. In Sept of 2010 I went to Hawaii for a woman’s AA event to see if I could spread the word. In January of 2011 I met Dee Dee Stout over the phone because of her appearance in Penn *& Teller Bullshit about AA.AA had changed from when I got sober in Kailua in 1975. It was not laid back and “take what you like buffet attitude “ had turned into a more ridged ..”90 meetings and 90 days and what does your sponsor say “ type of rhetoric. At dinner with my two closets long time AA friends they told me about the Murder of Kristine and Saundra Cass ( age 13 ), by a man who was Court ordered to AA even though he was unstable and had mental issues and had violent issues with women. That in fact, my local government still worked better then AA’s upside down triangle rigamarole! At my lovely little safe women’s meeting I was uncomfortable. Through her I met author and Journalist Gabrielle Glaser, who recently published a book called “Her Best Kept Secret, why women drink and how they can regain control.” I am a chapter in her book.In the days and weeks after moving to Baton Rouge, I was perplexed at the oddity of my everyday encounters with ministry employees. When smiles were given, they were the stiff and sterile kind, not the kind that invades your face, and crinkles your eyes.In my mind it should have been the most joy filled environment in the world to work in and the lack of levity concerned me.

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