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We have fingers and tongues and dirty thoughts and pretty underwear.

It’s not a loss when we have sex without penetration, we’re just busy exploring all the other beautiful pieces of our sexuality.” And as one of my readers, age 65, told me in an email, “Once I realized what real sex was, I realized the goal is the journey, not the destination.

Here are some non-PIV ways to enjoy sex: Let go of goals – focus on pleasure.

As sex and relationship coach Charlie Glickman, Ph D puts it, “Sex is a lot like a buffet.

Here are some reasons why we should expand our exploration of sex beyond penetration— With all of these issues, it makes sense for older people especially to concentrate on what brings us the most delightful sensations.

Sex is any activity that arouses you and brings you sexual pleasure.

What’s happening next is assumed: if it’s heterosexual sex, it’s penis in vagina.

“We don’t have that default assumption in gay land. ” is so empowering, because at that moment, you can rule anything in and anything out. Straight people sometimes say to me, I wish I could have more sex.

Intercourse is a popular dish and it’s a favorite for many people.

It’s essential that we learn to communicate about our needs and desires and elicit this from a partner, especially when what brings us pleasure is changing with the years. What is uncomfortable for you physically or emotionally? What are you nervous about trying, but maybe you’d be willing?

Sometimes sex is a negotiation, especially with a new partner. Sex columnist Dan Savage said this in a recent podcast: “Straight people should take from gay people these four magic words: “What are you into?

But there’s no reason to skip past all the other options or consider them only as appetizers.

When you do that, you miss out on discovering lots of other delicious possibilities!

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